The final curtain

So, I am no longer a youth worker. The last three years have been brilliant and I have seen God do so much in me, around me and through me (which is a miracle in itself).

Some of the youth with me, with my massive nose, and Erica at the front.

So here are some of the answers to your questions and some that I've been thinking about myself.

Why teenagers? Aren't they all horrible and grotty?
No. I much prefer working with teens than adults. Teens can be more enthusiastic, joyful, welcoming, loving and caring than most adults. I've been exceptionally lucky. My youth group comprised of the wisest, the most passionate, the most servant-hearted, the most compassionate people I've ever met. Okay, next question before I make myself cry.

Top 3 highlights

1. Four of my teens getting baptised. That was such a high. Such a cold and windy day, but it was probably one of the most rewarding days of my life.
2. Taking the teens to Soul Survivor.
3. My send off party. Once again they made me proud in how they were enthusiastic and how they offered to help out.

Low lights

1. When no-one showed up. There have been multiple sessions, especially during the summer months, when everyone is doing something else. It's hard not to take it personally.
2. When one teen showed up. Especially when it was a girl. This was not only awkward but a child protection issue. However, it did lead to a great conversation and a lot of faith issues were dealt with that evening.
3. When it feels like no one cares. It's a Friday evening, at 10:30. You've been working all day. You're tired and your desk is a mess, the lounge is a mess. You just want to go home but everyone is gone and it's just you to sort it out. It's moments like those that I really have to remind myself of the privilege it is to serve the living God.

Did you get any presents?
Loads. I got balloons, a teapot, a Spiderman lunchbox, little Doctor Who figurines, a whoopee cushion, some massive inflatable boxing gloves, DC Comic top trumps... One of my teens made a memory board which was brilliant. I really appreciated the thought and effort that went into that and all my presents.

Who has been instrumental in making the last three years so good?
There have been so many people who welcomed me when I first joined this church and who have been willing to bless and support me. God has been so gracious in placing me in a community of people I really love and love me in return. Particular shout outs go to:

• Peter, my pastor. He's been ace and I've grown so much because of his support. He's a kind, encouraging boss that isn't afraid to challenge me. 
• James, who has been a brother, mentor, friend, counsellor, rebuker and role model.
• Marie, she's helped me lead the teens over the last two years. She's an amazing force of nature.
• Erica, who has helped me throughout my last three years. She has such a huge heart for people and is so helpful.
• Duncan. Simply for being an amazing friend.
• and, of course, the teens. I have been exceptionally lucky. It has just been ridiculous.

Hannah (who should blog more) asks "Would you say that working for a church has changed your attitude towards church? Has it had a positive or negative impact on your own personal faith?"
Definitely positive, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It can be really tough, dispiriting, demeaning, painful and frustrating. You'll make mistakes, people will annoy you or hurt you. You'll be exhausted and stretched too thin. It is also, for the most part, a real blessing. One major thing was that I got to know what was happening elsewhere in the church. This was awesome, as you definitely saw God at work in various places. I think I'll miss this the most.

My attitude toward church has changed a lot, especially as Exilio is a very strange church. But I love it and it is like my family. It definitely has had a positive impact on my faith. I'm bolder in proclaiming the lordship of Christ in both word and deed. It's allowed me to practise the gifts that God has given me. It has also given me truly amazing friends that I absolutely love.

If you feel called by God to work in a church or for a Christian ministry, it'd be wrong not to do it. It's going to be tough, but it's definitely worth it.

Karen asked "If you were to tell a new youth worker one "do", "don't" and "I've always wanted to try this" what would they be?"
This is a really hard question. I have about 6 for each so picking one is tricky.

Do give it a shot. If you've got an idea, go for it. It might not work out but you can say you gave it a go. It also teaches the teens not to be scared of failure, no one is perfect (even youth workers) and that we live in a world that is under grace.

Don't make promises you can't keep. There are so many ideas I had that I suggested to the teens and for one reason or another they didn't work out. I expect, actually, it should be a "do delegate". That way you'd probably see most of your ideas realised rather than failing under your own steam.

I wanted to try loads, from volunteering projects to going camping with them, to getting the teens to lead and come up with a term's material.

Bethan asked "What have you most enjoyed teaching your youth...?"
About Jesus. Okay that is the clichéd youth worker question, but it's hard to say anything else.

The people of the Old Testament series was really good and something I was pretty proud of. If you head towards the "Resources" page (tab on the top bar) you can have a look, and use it if you want.

I also really enjoyed the mentoring aspect of my role. So, that's not a topic more of a methodology. But mentoring is an awesome way to disciple people, especially teens. Especially male teens. Role models are really important for young guys.

"...and learning from your youth?"
I've learnt about joy, passion, and gained their contagious love for life.


I have absolutely loved being a youth-worker. I can't believe it's over.

Quick Questions
What should my blog's new name be? Suggestions include:

• Tales of a trainee teacher
• Tales from Thomas

Or have you got better ideas? I'm reluctant to make it a teacher training blog as it has been more thoughts about my faith (that could be a title). 

Any other questions?

Times flies when you're having fun!

Wow. It's 2012. Not only that, but it's February 2012. I hope you've not been worrying that I fell into a ditch only to be found months later by a passing dog-walker. If you have, you can breathe a sigh of relief. If you haven't, you've got a better grasp of reality than I have.

How has 2012 been for you? Good, I hope. Mine has been really good so far (except for a minor glitch in the proceedings, but more on that later). There have been numerous meals, a games evening, a birthday (mine) and a church weekend away.

The Weekend Away

Last weekend was the church House Party. The theme was "Risk It!" and it was looking at what it means to risk things for Jesus. We looked at the parable of the talents and thought about how we should use our gifts and resources rather than bury them in the ground.

Mosaic was also in charge of the evening entertainments, on the Friday and Saturday night. Jimbo ran a "Exilio goes to the dogs" event, which involved watching weird competitions (e.g. cheese rolling and pillow fights on a beam) and choosing the winner. I came second and my housemate, Crawford, won. Saturday night was a quiz/games night, hosted by the mighty Duncan. We each lead a round. My round was a Chinese laundry/ scavenger hunt round, which went well. Unfortunately, some of my youth cheated by sneaking a look at the answers.

We had hot tubs in some of the lodges and, being the crazy, off-the-wall people we are, decided it would be a good idea add shower gel to the water. There were many bubbles.

Birthday
Monday I turned 24. So old. So old. As it was the day after house party I was given a day of rest, which was nice. For the last two years, my birthday was actually at house party and I sort of missed that, but I still spent it with the Mosaic crew. This year, I met up with James at Trago Lounge (followed by an impromptu trip to IKEA) , and then had a curry extravaganza. There was about 16 of us and we ordered take-away Indian and ate it at the Bemroses'. Some of us then hit the town and got absolutely wasted (and by town, I mean one pub, and by wasted, I mean had two drinks). I was in bed before midnight (it would have been sooner but I went to Tesco Express to pick up some milk for breakfast).

The glitch
The Friday before house party, I had an interview for a PGCE. I thought it went pretty well, and was told I'd find out on Monday (being my birthday). Fortunately, I didn't find out on Monday, as it would have ruined my day. I didn't get the place. Today I received a letter saying:

Thank you for attending an interview for a place on our PGCE (Secondary) course. Whilst we are unable to offer you a place on the course at the moment, we have now placed your name on our reserve list.

(If you were wondering, the envelope it arrived in used FSC certified paper. It's always nice to know that your rejection letter was sent with a clear conscience.) Tuesday, afternoon I was a bit miserable. Wednesday, I was fine with it but had to tell everyone I hadn't got the place. When I told people I was okay about it, they mostly tilted their head and gave me a look to say, "he's either trying to be brave, or he's in denial. Poor chap."

I had the lyrics of The Lord's My Shepherd in my head all Wednesday morning, and it was a helpful reminder of God's goodness throughout everything.

The Lord's my shepherd, I'll not want;
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green; he leadeth me
The quiet waters by.

My soul he doth restore again,
And me to walk doth make
Within the paths of righteousness,
E'en for his own name's sake.

Yea, though I walk in death's dark vale,
Yet will I fear no ill:
For thou art with me, and thy rod
And staff me comfort still.

My table thou hast furnished
In presence of my foes;
My head thou dost with oil anoint
And my cup overflows.

Goodness and mercy all my life
Shall surely follow me;
And in God's house for evermore
My dwelling-place shall be.

 Quick Questions

1. How has 2012 been for you?

Ten thousand beside

Two weeks ago I scraped my mum's car along a wall of our church office. It wasn't a particularly pleasant experience. It was made even more unpleasant by the apparent costs and hassle involved in fixing the car. The main problem was the bumper. It had come loose behind the driver's wheel and was hanging down. That was an obvious hazard and we didn't want it to get any worse.

But God is generous, and one of the ways he has shown this is by providing a really loving church community. It is really like a family and everyone is so willing to bless others in small and practical ways. Some people in the church are quite handy with the old DIY, so yesterday I was able to take the car to someone's house and they fixed the bumper for me. For free.

Also, with all this car stuff and other factors (like I haven't received my previous deposit back yet and I'm loosing my interest free overdraft at the end of this month) I've been a bit worried about my money situation. Yesterday some friends from Mosaic, who knew about my worries, gave me an envelope with some cash in as a gift.

Yesterday, I really experienced God's blessing on me. He is an awesome and generous God. The day ended with a meal at James and Steph's with copious amounts of curry, and dessert where communion was also shared. It was a really lovely way to recognise all that God has done for us.

I'll leave you with the final verse of the hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

Quick Questions

1. How has God blessed you recently?
2. How could you show God's love to someone else?

Exilio Explained

Some things you need to know about my church. It's a bit unusual. First, its name is unusual. Exilio. It's Latin, or Spanish, or Portuguese for that matter, for Exile.

Another way we're unusual is the way we meet. Most churches meet once (or twice) a Sunday and that is their main meeting. Everyone gets together for that one-and-a-half hour slot and then there are extra things within the week you can plug into. Exilio, however, does not meet all together once a week. Instead, we meet in small groups we call clans. There are six clans, and they're all define by a particular trait, value or purpose.

Our clans (in alphabetical order, not to reveal favouritism) are:

Living Lordswood
This is our geographically focused clan. They live in Lordswood, an area in Southampton. They're also united by a love of nature and they are heavily involved in cleaning up the area.

Mosaic
Mosaic is an ageist clan. It is for the 18-30s (although the age keeps creeping up as James gets older). We meet weekly on a Wednesday and Sunday. Our Sundays vary from car washing, BBQs or just hanging out at Trago Lounge. We also go to the Trago Lounge pub quiz every fortnight (where we have varying success). We're exploring what it means to be a missional community (what does it mean? I would quite like to know) and how we should fulfil John 13:34-35 in our lives:

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

Revitalise
This clan is exploring how God brings wholeness, in spiritual and physical wellbeing. They hold pamper evenings, go on walks and provide support for those who are struggling. They often hold events for the Polish group that one of the group teaches.

Solace
Solace provides a place of belonging to those who need support and time to rebuild their lives. This might be through relationship breakdown, health, poverty, or just about anything. They often have breakfast together on a Sunday, and are involved with other charities such as the Depression Alliance and SCRATCH.

Treehouse
This is the group for families with children under 10. They meet weekly to explore the Bible together but also spend time building up the family both spiritually and practically.

x:cell
The teens! As led by the youthwork (a.k.a. me). You'll read a bit more about what we do through the whole blog, so I won't write too much here.

So they're the six clans. We all meet together about once a month, in what we call "The Gathering of the Clans". This often involves food (gingerbread men one time, cupcakes another), songs and a little bit of craziness.

Quick Questions

1. What is strange about your church?
2. What is the weirdest church experience you've had?