I'm not Jesus

I'm not crazy; I don't have a histrionic personality disorder. I do not suffer from delusions of grandiose; I did not come away from my trip to Israel with Jerusalem syndrome. I am a relatively sane, normal human being.

However, I often fall into a trap. I try to be Jesus to people. I try to solve their problems and I believe that the onus is on me to make sure that they become good, sinless Christians. This means I often worry  needlessly about friends, I'm often quick to rebuke them, I make small issues into big issues. In doing this, I often forget to involve Jesus in the process. As I'm to busy trying to be Jesus, I don't have the time and energy to focus on Jesus.

Back in the day, (well, you can still get them) W.W.J.D. band were pretty popular. These were so that in times of decision making, we were to ask ourselves what would Jesus do. It's really good to focus our minds on our Saviour when making decisions, but in some cases we are not able to do what Jesus did. We are not able to forgive people of their sins. We are not able to restore them of their brokenness. These are just cases of the blind leading the blind.

We are called to be ambassadors of Christ. An ambassador does not go with his own authority or power, but with the power and authority of the Head of State. They represent their country and its leader. We, too, represent Jesus and his church. We are to show his love, humility and goodness to people. What's more, we do not do this alone. Jesus gave us authority and power through the Holy Spirit. We go with his authority, not our own.

When I finally realised that I wasn't called to be Jesus, it was both terrifying and liberating. It was terrifying because I had to concede that I wasn't it control. It wasn't up to me whether my friend became a Christian, or whether another friend made the right choices about certain areas of their life. I had to trust that God was working in their life. It was liberating because I no longer felt panicked or guilty whenever I thought my friends were doing something that wasn't right. I no longer had trouble sleeping think about what I needed to do.

I still care deeply about my friends. I pray for them and love them. And if God chooses to use me in whatever way, I'm ready to do that. But, I can sleep at night because they're in far more capable hands than mine.

Quick Question

• Have you felt the pressure to be Jesus to people?

The final curtain

So, I am no longer a youth worker. The last three years have been brilliant and I have seen God do so much in me, around me and through me (which is a miracle in itself).

Some of the youth with me, with my massive nose, and Erica at the front.

So here are some of the answers to your questions and some that I've been thinking about myself.

Why teenagers? Aren't they all horrible and grotty?
No. I much prefer working with teens than adults. Teens can be more enthusiastic, joyful, welcoming, loving and caring than most adults. I've been exceptionally lucky. My youth group comprised of the wisest, the most passionate, the most servant-hearted, the most compassionate people I've ever met. Okay, next question before I make myself cry.

Top 3 highlights

1. Four of my teens getting baptised. That was such a high. Such a cold and windy day, but it was probably one of the most rewarding days of my life.
2. Taking the teens to Soul Survivor.
3. My send off party. Once again they made me proud in how they were enthusiastic and how they offered to help out.

Low lights

1. When no-one showed up. There have been multiple sessions, especially during the summer months, when everyone is doing something else. It's hard not to take it personally.
2. When one teen showed up. Especially when it was a girl. This was not only awkward but a child protection issue. However, it did lead to a great conversation and a lot of faith issues were dealt with that evening.
3. When it feels like no one cares. It's a Friday evening, at 10:30. You've been working all day. You're tired and your desk is a mess, the lounge is a mess. You just want to go home but everyone is gone and it's just you to sort it out. It's moments like those that I really have to remind myself of the privilege it is to serve the living God.

Did you get any presents?
Loads. I got balloons, a teapot, a Spiderman lunchbox, little Doctor Who figurines, a whoopee cushion, some massive inflatable boxing gloves, DC Comic top trumps... One of my teens made a memory board which was brilliant. I really appreciated the thought and effort that went into that and all my presents.

Who has been instrumental in making the last three years so good?
There have been so many people who welcomed me when I first joined this church and who have been willing to bless and support me. God has been so gracious in placing me in a community of people I really love and love me in return. Particular shout outs go to:

• Peter, my pastor. He's been ace and I've grown so much because of his support. He's a kind, encouraging boss that isn't afraid to challenge me. 
• James, who has been a brother, mentor, friend, counsellor, rebuker and role model.
• Marie, she's helped me lead the teens over the last two years. She's an amazing force of nature.
• Erica, who has helped me throughout my last three years. She has such a huge heart for people and is so helpful.
• Duncan. Simply for being an amazing friend.
• and, of course, the teens. I have been exceptionally lucky. It has just been ridiculous.

Hannah (who should blog more) asks "Would you say that working for a church has changed your attitude towards church? Has it had a positive or negative impact on your own personal faith?"
Definitely positive, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It can be really tough, dispiriting, demeaning, painful and frustrating. You'll make mistakes, people will annoy you or hurt you. You'll be exhausted and stretched too thin. It is also, for the most part, a real blessing. One major thing was that I got to know what was happening elsewhere in the church. This was awesome, as you definitely saw God at work in various places. I think I'll miss this the most.

My attitude toward church has changed a lot, especially as Exilio is a very strange church. But I love it and it is like my family. It definitely has had a positive impact on my faith. I'm bolder in proclaiming the lordship of Christ in both word and deed. It's allowed me to practise the gifts that God has given me. It has also given me truly amazing friends that I absolutely love.

If you feel called by God to work in a church or for a Christian ministry, it'd be wrong not to do it. It's going to be tough, but it's definitely worth it.

Karen asked "If you were to tell a new youth worker one "do", "don't" and "I've always wanted to try this" what would they be?"
This is a really hard question. I have about 6 for each so picking one is tricky.

Do give it a shot. If you've got an idea, go for it. It might not work out but you can say you gave it a go. It also teaches the teens not to be scared of failure, no one is perfect (even youth workers) and that we live in a world that is under grace.

Don't make promises you can't keep. There are so many ideas I had that I suggested to the teens and for one reason or another they didn't work out. I expect, actually, it should be a "do delegate". That way you'd probably see most of your ideas realised rather than failing under your own steam.

I wanted to try loads, from volunteering projects to going camping with them, to getting the teens to lead and come up with a term's material.

Bethan asked "What have you most enjoyed teaching your youth...?"
About Jesus. Okay that is the clichéd youth worker question, but it's hard to say anything else.

The people of the Old Testament series was really good and something I was pretty proud of. If you head towards the "Resources" page (tab on the top bar) you can have a look, and use it if you want.

I also really enjoyed the mentoring aspect of my role. So, that's not a topic more of a methodology. But mentoring is an awesome way to disciple people, especially teens. Especially male teens. Role models are really important for young guys.

"...and learning from your youth?"
I've learnt about joy, passion, and gained their contagious love for life.


I have absolutely loved being a youth-worker. I can't believe it's over.

Quick Questions
What should my blog's new name be? Suggestions include:

• Tales of a trainee teacher
• Tales from Thomas

Or have you got better ideas? I'm reluctant to make it a teacher training blog as it has been more thoughts about my faith (that could be a title). 

Any other questions?

Francis Chan: Making Disciples vs Memorizing

I really love Francis Chan and recently got his book 'Erasing Hell' on Kindle for FREE. Haven't read it yet, but will do soon, hopefully.

Here's a rather funny but good video about how sometimes Bible Study and memorising scripture can be pointless if it leads to no action.

I suppose it goes back to the James 2:14-26 verse about faith without deeds being dead.