Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Helpful things to say when someone is grieving

Although I've been trying to keep up to date with Mark, the subsequent blogging hasn't happened. Stuff has been going on (you can probably tell by the content of this post it wasn't too cheery).

When some one has lost a loved one there are some helpful things to say. Then there are some things which aren't so helpful. They may sound fine, but if you were to say them, the person often hears something else.
  1. "It's a part of God's plan." You know all that grief and pain you're experiencing? Well, God wanted it to happen. That's right. He decided it will happen and it's a part of his plan. Don't ask me why. I don't know. Only he does. But he's so good, right?
  2. "Were they saved?" "Did they know Jesus?" You know that person who just died? Well, heaven or hell? An eternity of peace or fiery torment? That's all I want to know. And if it's hell, why didn't you do much about it? I'm not going to go as far as to say it's your fault...but, it's pretty much your fault.
  3. "Did you pray for them?" I mean, if you were praying for them, they wouldn't have died right? Maybe you didn't pray with enough faith. I'm not going as far to say it's your fault...
  4. "At least you still have..." Two grandparents. What you complaining about, man.
  5. "They're now at peace" To be honest, I can't really be bothered to think of anything new to say, so I'll just knock out this old cliche.
  6. Nothing. What, you're in pain? You're hurting? Look, it's just a bit awkward for me. I don't really do the 'helping friends when they're down' thing. And you'll get over it and it'll be like it never happened.
If someone gets me this card, I'll do something unspeakable...

Maybe, here are some things you could say:
  1. Man, that sucks. I can't imagine how you feel.
  2. I'm really sorry.
  3. I love you.
  4. How are you?
  5. I'm praying for you and your family.
A hug would be nice too.

Fortunately, although I've had a few of the frustrating comments, I've had a lot of the positive comments too. Just a huge thanks to all the guys in Mosaic!

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